The next time you spot a dead animal in the roadway, you might want to stop and pick it up rather than just drive on by.  That’s because highway department officials today announced a new plan to insert discount coupons for restaurants, theaters, salons and retailers inside roadkill.  “We believe drivers will stop and pick up dead animals in the hopes there might be a money-saving coupon inside,” said highway department administrator Walter “Whirly” O’Chang. “It’ll sure save us money by not having to pick up and dispose of all that roadkill.”
Hair salon owner Peaches Findleweimer said she jumped on board as soon as she heard about the program. “I think it’s great. I bought 200 coupons for discount perms that’ll go inside dead raccoons. For the same price I could have had 300 skunk coupons, but who would stop for a dead skunk?” she asked, smiling wistfully.
O’Chang emphasized that motorists should remove the coupons and not take the dead animal with them to the business or retailer.

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