NEW 10-SPEED TRANSMISSION LEADS TO SHIFTER PLATE PROBLEMS

General Motors and Ford are hard at work designing a new 10-speed automatic transmission for use by both automakers, and while the transmission itself is almost ready for production, the design of the shifter plate is holding up its debut.

“With ten speeds, we thought it would be best for the shifter plate to be labeled ‘P, R, N, D, L, L, L, L, L, L, L, L, L’,” said GM spokesperson Yehudi “Tex” Rodriguez.  

But Ford has what they say is a better idea.  “We think it should be labeled ‘P, R, N, D, A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H and I’, said Ford engineer Eunice Toots.

“Ours is easier to say, just say ‘PrindLLLLLLLLL’,” said Rodriguez.  “But Ford’s comes out sounding like ‘Prindabcadefgahi’, which sounds like a cafe in Tripoli.”

Toots counters that PRNDLLLLLLLLL will lead to driver confusion.  “How the ‘L’ will the driver know which ‘L’ he or she is in?” she asked sarcastically. 

Both companies say the issue will be resolved soon.  “We both agree on PRND, so we’re nearly  halfway there,” agreed Rodriguez and Toots.