CALIFORNIA SEEKING VOLUNTEER DRIVERS TO TRANSPORT SALMON DUE TO DROUGHT

Salmon fingerling gets ride in Andalusia Dank’s car

California’s severe drought has left rivers too dry for salmon to migrate on their own, so the state is asking for volunteer drivers to provide rides for the fish from hatcheries to rivers near the ocean.  

“We have about 30-million fish to move, so we’re looking for maybe ten million volunteer drivers,” said state fisheries spokesman Garth Spleerman.  “And if each volunteer transported four or five fish we’d only need six million drivers.”

Andalusia Dank laughs as salmon fingerling spins in circles inside bowl

One of the first to volunteer was 47-year old Andalusia Dank.  “I’m taking only one fish because I really want to bond with her during the trip,” Dank explained as she gently placed a bowl containing the fingerling on the passenger seat of her Toyota Prius.

Dank quickly swirled the water in the bowl with her finger, and watched with joy as the resulting whirlpool enveloped the spinning two-inch-long fish. “Wheeee!” shouted the ebulient Dank.  

Those interested in becoming a volunteer fish driver should contact the State of California Department of Fisheries. Ask for Augie.