FRUSTRATED POLICE CHIEF SAYS HE’S LOSING OFFICERS TO OTHER DEPARTMENTS WITH NEWER CARS WITH COOL LIGHTS

Chief Calvin Fusty of the Pluss Butte City Police Department says young officers are not only disturbed by his overly large head, but also turned off by his department’s  old Fords with “gumball” red light

A local police chief is asking for more money from the city council to buy some “cooler lights” for his department’s old patrol cars.  

“All my good officers are leaving,” grumbled Chief Calvin Fusty of the Pluss Butte Police Department.  “And it’s all because of the cars. Next door in Crankshaw they drive new Dodge Chargers with a bunch of trick flashing LEDs,  and all we have are beat up old Crown Vics with Adam-12 gumball lights.  It’s embarrassing.”  

The chief said three of his employees recently left to join the Crankshaw police department.  Crankshaw Police Chief Spitz Baldocki said cool emergency lights are more important to young officers than pay raises or time off.  “20 years ago when you asked someone why he or she wanted to be a cop, they’d say ‘to help people‘.  Now they’ll tell you straight up it’s all about the cars and cool lights.”  

“It’s all about the flashing lights.” Crankshaw PD Chief Spitz Baldocki