Cadillac Reveals 2019 CTS-V Hearse!

We don’t particularly like hearses. They’re creepy and so are most of the people driving them.  But we do have to admit: Cadillac’s upcoming CTS-V hearse is pretty cool — in a sporty yet somewhat ghoulish “Harold and Maude” sort of way.     

Cadillac spokesperson Tolstoy Putterman admitted the world probably doesn’t actually need a  640-horsepower hearse, but it will certainly make the trip to the cemetery go much faster.  “Time is money,” Putterman reminded us.  

Most of the CTS-V sedan’s go-fast bits come as standard equipment, but nonconformist funeral directors can pick from options including left or right swinging rear door, color-matching curtains and brake calipers (shown), and a performance data and video recorder.  

Oh, and Cadillac’s popular Carbon Black appearance package is also available.  “For obvious reasons, we don’t refer to it as “murdered out,” said Putterman.