Category: Uncategorized

MAGNETIC SIGN ASSOCIATION DECRIES FORD’S ALUMINUM-BODIED F-150

Magnetic sign association spokesman Jesus Wang tears up at press conference At a news conference today, a spokesman for the nation’s largest magnetic sign association alleged that, “Ford is out to kill the magnetic sign industry with their… Read More

ELON MUSK’S COMPANIES TESLA AND SpaceX COLLABORATE ON MODEL S EJECTION SEAT

Engineer Orchid Platt recently escaped injury when she separated from the ejection seat during testing.   Two of Elon Musk’s companies, automaker Tesla and rocket manufacturer SpaceX are said to be in the final testing phase of an… Read More

COMMUTERS COMPLAIN ABOUT SWEDISH DAY LABORERS BLOCKING TRAFFIC NEAR IKEA STORE

A man who identified himself only as Haldorapproaches traffic in front of the Ikea store.“I need work. I build boats,” he said.   Police are cracking down after receiving complaints from motorists about a large group of Swedish… Read More

ONE-INCH KEYSTONE PIPELINE APPROVED

One-inch Keystone XL pipeline, shown here, will deliver a couple of gallons of crude oil per day A compromise that will shrink the long-delayed 850-mile-long Keystone XL oil pipeline from 36-inches in diameter to just one inch has led… Read More

HEADLINES OFF THE PARKSPLUG WIRES

PORSCHE GT3 OWNERS PROHIBITED FROM  DRIVING ON NO-BURN DAYS Dinan Isetta BMW TUNER DINAN TO OFFER HIGH-PERFORMANCE ISETTA PARTS   PLANS FOR BULLITT-EDITION FORD KA FOR EUROPEAN MARKET SCRAPPED “Apparently no one there has seen the movie,” said forlorn… Read More

HEADLINES OFF THE PARKSPLUG WIRES:

GM RECALLS EVERY VEHICLE THEY’VE EVER BUILT…EXCEPT THIS ONE ——-> Some business owners complain that parking spaces for the homely are located too close to buildings BUSINESS OWNERS COMPLAIN THAT DESIGNATED PARKING SPACES FOR THE HOMELY ARE  TOO… Read More

BAUSCH AND LOMB UNVEILS PRESCRIPTION WINDSHIELD

Prescription vs regular windshield:  Upper portion of windshield features prescription glass; blurry lower half does not.  Courtesy Bausch and Lomb Bausch and Lomb’sWañda Mañaña Optical company Bausch and Lomb today introduced what they claim is the world’s first prescription vehicle… Read More

POUNDING ON BUTTON OVER AND OVER REALLY DOES MAKE THE “WALK” LIGHT CHANGE FASTER

Turns out that moron standing on the corner repeatedly whacking the button to change the crosswalk light was right. According to a University of Puyallup research project, pushing the crosswalk button more frequently and with greater force actually… Read More

WHY FLOOR MATS COST SO MUCH

A set of automobile floor mats can cost more than $200.  To many people, that price seems exorbitant for a product consisting of four small plastic squares or rectangles.  So Parksplug asked Pat Fisselouver of Pat and Pat’s… Read More

CALIFORNIA SEEKING VOLUNTEER DRIVERS TO TRANSPORT SALMON DUE TO DROUGHT

Salmon fingerling gets ride in Andalusia Dank’s car California’s severe drought has left rivers too dry for salmon to migrate on their own, so the state is asking for volunteer drivers to provide rides for the fish from… Read More