ANGRY CROWD OF CHAIN SMOKERS AND OBESE PEOPLE RIOT AT CORNER OF HAPPY AND HEALTHY

The intersection of Happy and Healthy was the scene of a large fight yesterday between crowds of chain smokers and sedentary obese people, according to police.  “A fat guy coming out of the Walgreen’s store bumped into a smoker in the parking lot, and that started the whole thing,” said police sergeant Spooter Wolper, who estimated that 200 people were fighting at one point.    

“It was a real angry crowd,” said Wolper.  “But the smokers and the obese people fought each another for only a minute or so before they all got winded and had to sit down.” 

Police attempt to break up aggressive crowd at the corner of Happy and Healthy