Category: Uncategorized

Buyer of Original James Bond Car Complains It Has “Ejectile Dysfunction”

“It sucks. I paid $4.5 million only to find out it has ejectile dysfunction ,” complained buyer Crispin Crankshaw.  

Tesla Promises Buyers Will Get Their 2017 Model 3’s “No Later Than 2019.”

Despite taking customer deposits on 450,000 Model 3 sedans, Tesla has built only 12 of them and all of those were used for crash testing, the automaker reported.   Chief Rocketeer Elon Musk, however, assured investors and customers… Read More

2018 Wrangler Rubicon to Feature Triscuit Seat Covers

The first new Wrangler in more than 10 years is expected to make its debut at the Los Angeles Auto Show early next month.     However, Jeep and Nabisco have already confirmed to Parksplug that the ’18… Read More

Ford’s New Transit Connect Pickup: Hopefully You Didn’t Want a Longbed

Sometime next spring, Ford will release its new Transit Connect Pickup (TCPU), the short-bed answer to a question no one asked.   With a bed that only measures 30-inches, you’ll either have to leave the sheet of drywall… Read More

Local Man Feels He’s “Pretty Close” to Getting Car Clock Set Back to Standard Time

After a few setbacks that included inadvertently disconnecting his car’s cruise control and soldering his shoelace to the emergency flasher wiring, Apex Hooflander believes he’s pretty close to setting his vehicle’s clock back to standard time.   “Fortunately,… Read More

BRZ: We Wanted An STI, But Subaru Gives Us An Outback. Damn.

We’ve always been fans of Subaru’s nimble BRZ.  It just needs more engine. We, along with thousands of BRZ enthusiasts, have waited years for a turbocharged version.  We’d even settle for the 2.0 liter from the milder WRX,… Read More

CHIP FOOSE — THE EARLY YEARS:

 

Cobra Replica Owner Distraught After Discovering Glovebox Was Signed by Some Guy Named Darrell Shulky

After saving his money for 15 years, LeBloyne Picnick was finally able to afford the car of his dreams — a Shelby Cobra.   “Well, it’s actually a replica; I certainly couldn’t afford a real Cobra,” Picnick told… Read More

Automakers Want to Crash-Test People Instead of Vehicles

Claiming that crash testing wrecks too many vehicles, a coalition of automakers is proposing that NHTSA — which stands for National Highway Traffic something or other —  have humans sprint into a fixed steel barrier instead. General Motors… Read More

Astronaut Takes Both Sets of Car Keys Into Space; Wife Pissed

“Fortunately, the bus system where we live is pretty good.”   Soon-to-be-divorced astronaut Beeker Pugg U.S. astronaut Beeker Pugg arrived last week at what will be his new home for the next year–the International Space Station.   Unfortunately,… Read More