Category: Uncategorized

Ford Cancels Fusion GPS After Confusion Over Mueller Russia Investigation

Ford today announced they won’t be building the high-performance Fusion GPS sedan after all, citing “too much confusion over that damned Trump-Russia thing.”   Ford’s Fusion GPS, equipped with the 3.5 liter Ecoboost V-6,  reportedly delivered 365-horsepower and… Read More

Ford Teases 2019 Mustang Mullitt Intro at Detroit Auto Show

It’s been nearly a decade since the iconic Mustang Mullitt vanished from Ford’s lineup.  But Ford released a photograph today teasing the introduction of the upcoming 2019 Mullitt at the Detroit Auto Show, which opens tomorrow — inexplicably… Read More

Your Deceased Pet Can Become Your Car’s New Hood Ornament!

Like most pet owners, Boboli Peterson considered her cat Guff to be a beloved member of the family.   So after Guff died in a tragic Roomba crash in the foyer of Peterson’s home last fall, the Beaverdell… Read More

Vatican Admits: “We Should Have Ordered the Defroster” for New Popemobile

A large crowd struggles to see the Pope though foggy Popemobile windows “I couldn’t even tell if it was him.  It looked like he was taking a steam bath.” Spectator Earlene DiNucci

Dealership Grief Counselor Helps Ease the Pain of Expensive Auto Repairs

Cupcake Nunchuk and her husband Chuck were concerned when the transmission in their five-year-old Land Rover began making unusual noises. “When I shifted into drive it would go sheeeeng–bap–dvvvvvvt–clunk,” explained Cupcake. “It also smelled like a burning goat,”… Read More

Subaru Confident Their New Three-Row Crossover Will Be Popular With Lesbians

Subaru’s new Ascent doesn’t go on sale until the middle of next year, but the company is already expressing confidence that, like its Outback and Forester stablemates, the seven-passenger crossover will be a big hit with lesbians.   “Oh… Read More

Poll: 72% of People Under 30 Think “Pop the Clutch” Was a Character on Boardwalk Empire

Buyer of Original James Bond Car Complains It Has “Ejectile Dysfunction”

“It sucks. I paid $4.5 million only to find out it has ejectile dysfunction ,” complained buyer Crispin Crankshaw.  

Tesla Promises Buyers Will Get Their 2017 Model 3’s “No Later Than 2019.”

Despite taking customer deposits on 450,000 Model 3 sedans, Tesla has built only 12 of them and all of those were used for crash testing, the automaker reported.   Chief Rocketeer Elon Musk, however, assured investors and customers… Read More

2018 Wrangler Rubicon to Feature Triscuit Seat Covers

The first new Wrangler in more than 10 years is expected to make its debut at the Los Angeles Auto Show early next month.     However, Jeep and Nabisco have already confirmed to Parksplug that the ’18… Read More