Category: Uncategorized

Turbo Lag Task Force Just Can’t Seem to Get Going, Facilitator Complains

A five-person task force charged with finding new ways to eradicate turbo lag can be lazy and ineffectual one second and then spring to life almost uncontrollably the next, complained Dingdong Rodriguez, a facilitator trying to motivate the group…. Read More

Armor All Introduces New Protectant Spray for Bald Men

Every car fan in the world (except for Franklin Poinkler of Gabbs, Nevada, that is) has used Armor All to protect and shine the tires of his or her vehicle.   Now, Armor All is adding another product… Read More

Nike Files Suit Against Lexus Over LED Light Design

Nike has filed a cease and desist order against Lexus, claiming the automaker copied the footwear company’s “swoosh” logo for the front LED lights on a number of Lexus models.   “It’s way too “swooshie,” Nike attorney Dollop… Read More

Company Sells Detachable Front Clip for Embarrassed Minivan Drivers

Minivans are among the most practical vehicles on the road.  It’s just that nobody wants to be seen driving one.   But a company called Vincent Van Nose is now producing a stick-on front clip that they say… Read More

From the Archives: 1903 One Ton Dually

Subaru Management Despondent After Dogs Reveal They Don’t Really Like Their Cars

Dogs have played a prominent role in Subaru’s advertising for years, but now it appears the canines are out.   Yesterday, members of the largest canine actors’ union notified Subaru they would no longer accept parts in the… Read More


“This is my last giant bow,” lamented Mercedes dealer Jeasle Pinderhoof. “And it’s the wrong color for Valentine’s Day.” A shortage of giant, colorful bows has car dealers scrambling to find replacements just days before the big Valentine’s… Read More


INGENIOUS NEW STEERING WHEEL DESIGN CUSHIONS UNCONSCIOUS OR DECEASED DRIVERS WHO ARE SLUMPED OVER THE WHEEL Features of the Model 1055 steering wheel include a cushioned hub and rimless upper section “‘Slumped’ even sounds uncomfortable, doesn’t it?” Pigeon Stapleton asked… Read More

Ford Cancels Fusion GPS After Confusion Over Mueller Russia Investigation

Ford today announced they won’t be building the high-performance Fusion GPS sedan after all, citing “too much confusion over that damned Trump-Russia thing.”   Ford’s Fusion GPS, equipped with the 3.5 liter Ecoboost V-6,  reportedly delivered 365-horsepower and… Read More

Ford Teases 2019 Mustang Mullitt Intro at Detroit Auto Show

It’s been nearly a decade since the iconic Mustang Mullitt vanished from Ford’s lineup.  But Ford released a photograph today teasing the introduction of the upcoming 2019 Mullitt at the Detroit Auto Show, which opens tomorrow — inexplicably… Read More