For many years, millions of people have begun sentences with, “They say…”. But just who “They” are has been a mystery—until now.  University of Tucumcari Sociology professor Dr. Hyman Festite revealed today that after years of searching, his team of researchers has discovered “They” are the DeFazio family of Broken Bow, Nebraska.”  

“There’s Harold DeFazio, his wife Trixie and their kids Harold Jr. and Berta Fern, who was born with only one nostril,” revealed Festite.  He added that the DeFazios first began serving as “They” nearly 20 years ago. “Before them, a couple named Duke and Doris Okeford was doing it, but they split up and therefore couldn’t be “They” anymore.  Duke tried working solo and getting the ‘He says…’ thing going, but it never took off.”

The DeFazios declined to be interviewed for this story, although they did say you shouldn’t use cheap gas in your car.