RETURNING HERD BLOCKS TRAFFIC FOR 30 MINUTES

An untold number of motorists and partygoers were inconvenienced yesterday afternoon when the cows unexpectedly came home. 

Downtown traffic was blocked for about 30 minutes as the herd slowly made their way home.  In addition to frustrated commuters, revelers were disappointed when they found out the party was over.  “I’ve always heard people say, ‘Party ’til the cows come home,’ and that’s what we were doing, but never in a million years did I ever think they would actually come home,” said a dejected Clifford “Bob” Narvello, adding, “It’s too bad, it was a great party,” . 

27-year-old Kitten Teragamo said those attending the party had just started playing the drinking game 21 Monkeys “when all of a sudden the front door flies open and this entire herd of cows strolls in. That’s when we knew the party was over,” she said with tears streaming down her cheeks.