Some guy whose name we forgot to get

A Fusty Springs man was arrested yesterday for allegedly trying to smuggle water into parched California. Agents guarding the Oregon-California border say they stopped a silver four-door sedan attempting to cross the border after a police Pygmy Mastiff water detection dog barked once and then fell over dead. “That’s the alert signal,” explained agent Caster Camber. “We tend to go through a lot of dogs,” he added as he leaned back and threw a handful of chewable Hartz dog wormer tablets into his mouth.   

“That water would have been on the street within hours if we hadn’t caught him,” said Camber, who, for some reason, prefers to wear a coffee filter on his head instead of a hat.  The unidentified suspect was arrested on smuggling charges and the water was booked as evidence.