HEALTHIER EATING HABITS BLAMED FOR SHORTAGE OF FAST FOOD GREASE FOR CONVERTED DIESELS

Out of Luck:  A lack of business at this Krispy Kreme restaurant means no grease for the owner of this converted Mercedes

Thousands of diesel-engined cars, mostly old Mercedes-Benz and Volkswagen models, have been converted to run on waste vegetable oil. But owners of these grease burners say it has become very difficult to find fuel for their cars as more people adopt healthier eating habits. 

According to AAA spokesperson DeAugustino Spunkle, the grease shortage could result in ten or twelve people across the country having to cancel their summer driving vacation.  

“What’s happening to this country?” asked agitated Mercedes 300SD owner Pyewacket Humphrey.  “I can’t get oil from Krispy Kreme anymore because their business has dropped off. Same thing at McDonald’s. Everybody’s eating f—ing salads! Greasy food is American food. It’s a real shame what’s happening.”