ANTI-SPEEDING CRUSADER DIES; INTERRED IN SPEEDBUMP

Grant Knob, 83, a retired highway worker who loathed speeders, died Thursday at his home and was buried in a bright yellow speed bump on E. Holperig Rd.

A plaque identifies the bump or hump in which deceased highway worker Grant Knob is buried

“Grant loved nothing more than standing in his yard waving his pruning shears at motorists and yelling at them to slow down,” said Knob’s twin brother Brant, who is also 83 but still alive.

When asked for comment, Tingo Kilgallon, the director of the city’s streets and highway department, acknowledged that internment in a speed bump was an unusual request.

“Also, it’s a speed hump, not a speed bump, you idiot,” said the short-tempered Kilgallon.