Updated on November 5, 2015
MISSOURI DMV WILL ALTER YOUR DRIVER’S LICENSE PHOTO — FOR A FEE
STATE IS REPORTEDLY MAKING DOZENS OF DOLLARS PHOTOSHOPPING LICENSES
A recent article in Guns & Ammo magazine reported that a whopping 84% of the population who have a driver’s license are dissatisfied with their photo. Furthermore, the report claims the other 16% are detestable, swell-headed nodcocks.
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| BEFORE: Yogi Heflinger was mildly overweight and had thinning hair. (Note: his zip code has been blurred for privacy purposes) |
Recently, authorities in the state of Missouri came up with a better idea–the first good one they’ve had since February of 1967 when they outlawed homemade gasoline.
The state now allows drivers to pay a fee to have their driver’s license Photoshopped, and the state is reaping a pretty decent payday in the process.
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| AFTER: Heflinger paid $15 to have the DMV add hair to his photo, plus an additional $20 for the Buff Package. “Yup,” Heflinger replied when asked if he was satisfied with the changes. |
“We got folks around here who are so ugly they make blind people hurl,” said Missouri Department of Motor Vehicles spokesperson Frigit Hofnaugle, who herself resembles an emaciated Steve Buscemi with corn rows.
“So, it’s good for our customers ’cause they ain’t so homely no more and it’s good for the state ’cause we’re making money,” said Hofnaugle as she brushed cigar ashes off her coveralls.
According to Hofnaugle, the average fee paid to alter a license is $20. “For that price, we can Photoshop out a couple of moles and give you a mouthful of teeth.”
