FIRST PHOTO: 2017 LINCOLN LINCOLN

RAISED-ROOF SUV COMMEMORATES ABE LINCOLN AND HIS STOVEPIPE HAT

Lincoln today released the first teaser photo of its upcoming Lincoln Lincoln, a tall-roofed crossover that it says pays “even more homage” to Abraham Lincoln, according to the automaker. We spoke with Lincoln spokesman Darnoff Guthelman about the vehicle.

Lincoln Lincoln in front of the Lincoln Memorial

PP: You have the MKC, MKS, MKX and so on. Is the Lincoln Lincoln the beginning of a trend away from alphanumeric names?

DG: We don’t have any alphanumeric names; there are no numbers, so they’re just alpha names.

PP: Like Romeo?

DG: No, that’s A-L-F-A. We have no numerics and no Romeo.

PP: Why is the roof so tall on the Lincoln Lincoln?

DG: Surprisingly, it’s very aerodynamic–especially if you get caught in a squall or haboob. Plus, our analysts determined that the stovepipe hat like Lincoln wore is making a comeback. People will want to wear them while they’re driving, hence the tall roof.

PP: Do you really think everyone will soon be wearing stovepipe hats?

DG: Maybe not everyone, but influential people like Deepak Chopra and Reese Witherspoon will almost certainly be early adopters.

PP: Will there be a Lincoln Lincoln Bo Bincoln package?

DG: What?

PP: Never mind. What does “hence” mean?