HOT DOG ACTIVISTS RAM WIENERMOBILE THROUGH HEALTH AGENCY’S DOORS

No one was injured this morning when what is believed to be a group of hot dog activists crashed a stolen Oscar Mayer Wienermobile through the doors of the World Health Organization in Geneva, Switzerland, narrowly missing a Little Grebe that had been standing on the steps outside. 

The Little Grebe, sometimes called a dabchick, is a small, dumpy looking water bird that has a mating call that sounds like an old Chrysler starter motor.    

Because this morning’s incident involved the WHO–not to be confused with The Who–and a Wienermobile, authorities believe it was related to a report issued Monday by The Who–rather, the WHO, who claim that consuming hot dogs and other processed meats is more dangerous than chain-smoking cigarettes while base jumping.  

Police said they’re still searching for the suspects, WHO who spray painted “Hands Off Our Hot Dogs” on the side of the Wienermobile.  

Dr. Sigmoid There, the Director of WHO, defended the controversial health report, but also reluctantly adknowledged that pepperoni is way worse than hot dogs.  

“We’re just lucky no one was killed,” said WHO’s There.