Posted on November 16, 2015
Dealers In Upheaval Over Name of Subaru’s Tribeca Replacement
Subaru’s Tribeca — an SUV that has sold in such low numbers since its 2005 release that Jay Leno owns just seven of them (one of which is jet-powered) — is finally getting a makeover, along with a new name.
Such was the excitement over the announcement that Portland Subaru dealer Coriander “CoMo” Moss skipped her trampoline meditation class and instead treated her entire staff to spirulina balls and whisked matchas.
The only photo of a Tribeca we could find was this one taken by renowned seascape photographer Jesus Gadd entitled, The Sea, a Bird and a Dead Fish. Oh, and a Tribeca.
“We were so very joyous,” gushed Moss. “But that was before we heard that Subaru is planning to call the thing the Squabworts.”
For its part, Subaru explains that, like the Tribeca before it, the seven-passenger Squabworts derives its name from an area of Lower Manhattan.
“We wanted a fresh name but something that still has that connection with New York,” explained Subaru spokesperson Lardis Panaghetti. “So just as Tribeca is an abbreviation for Triangle Below Canal St., Squabworts is short for Square Beside Worth St.”
But that explanation didn’t assuage distraught dealers. They’re in Upheaval — a town just south of Atlanta — for a meeting to determine the appropriate course of action.
According to company spokeswoman Panaghetti, though, it’s unlikely that Subaru will backtrack on the name, as Squabworts was the unanimous choice of several focus groups. “They had three names to choose from, the other two being Cirbewort and Squnewst,” said Panaghetti. “To be honest, I kind of liked Squnewst, but that’s just me,” she whispered.
