Updated on November 23, 2015
Wealthy People Buying Their Way Onto the Nation’s Railroad Tracks
Add something else to the list that the wealthy can do that we plebeians cannot — ride the rails in an exotic motorcar. That’s right; According to railroad industry analyst and former Siamese twin Peabo Troglin, thousands of wealthy people have ponied up big bucks to buy track access and retrofit their supercars with train wheels.
Gate arms raise as Dr. Qullivant Sprague passes through a railroad crossing in his Audi R8
“I hate sitting in traffic,” explained Dr. Quillivant Sprague, a 38-year-old psychiatrist and recognized expert in the use of therapy cattle, and the owner of an Audi R8 that sports forged steel train wheels.
Every few weeks, Sprague and his wife Magenta hop in their Audi and escape the stress of the city by heading off to Cesium Lake, normally a four-hour drive away.
“About an hour and a half,” Sprague answers when asked how long the trip takes by rail in the R8. “It’s got a V-10, so it’s quite fast. We just set the cruise control, sit back and have a glass of Pinot, and, of course, keep an eye out for trains,” he chuckled.
Carbon fiber wheels that Dr. Quillivant Sprague ordered for his Audi R8
Sprague acknowledges that while the train wheels affixed to his Audi make for fast, effortless travel, they’re decidedly less attractive than the car’s stock 19-inch aluminum alloy wheels. “I just ordered these from Wheel Rack,” he said, holding up a photograph of a custom carbon fiber train wheel. “Cool, huh?” he asked rhetorically.
But veteran locomotive engineer Wheatley Beavers doesn’t think it’s cool at all. “It’s downright dangerous,” he snorted. ” Just the other day, some (expletive) moron in a bright red high fallutin’ sports car with train wheels tailgated my train all the way to Rock Springs. I’d have slammed on the brakes if it wouldn’t have taken me two miles to stop. Damn fool.”
