Every McDonalds To Get Four Drive-Up Windows

McDonalds announced today that it will increase the number of drive-up windows to four at each of its U.S. restaurants, with the exception of airport and prison locations.

McDonalds spokesperson Pegasus Yeats said the additional windows will enhance customer service and explains how the new process will work:

First, drive-through customers will continue to place their order by shouting into a non-functioning microphone on the menu board. As always, clerk’s loudspeaker volume will be sufficient to be heard in space.  Customer drives on to first window.

First Window:  Customer pays for his order here.  Clerk does not have correct change in the drawer and leaves to find the Assistant Manager to get a stack of one’s and a couple rolls of quarters.  Ten minutes later, clerk is still gone, so bewildered customer proceeds to the next window.

Second Window:  The same clerk from the First Window is now working the Second Window, however, he doesn’t recall the customer’s order or how much change he is owed.  He leaves to find the Assistant Manager, who, after auditing the cash register, gives customer his change, all in quarters.  Customer spills most of the quarters on center console and floorboard and drives on to the next window to pick up his order.

Third Window:  Customer receives order here, although not necessarily his order.  Instead of the Sausage McGriddle and large Coke he requested, he is given two Filet-O-Fish sandwiches, a side of brown apple slices and strangely, an Arby’s Beef ‘N Cheddar sandwich.  Customer is directed to drive to the next window where order will be corrected.

Fourth Window:  The customer gives clerk the bag containing the incorrect order.  Customer is told to pull around the corner into the parking lot to wait for his order and someone will “run it out” to him.  Before customer receives order, the restaurant lobby closes, leaving only the drive-through open.