Detroit Auto Show Shocker! Aztek To Be Resurrected as a GMC!

Tens of fans of the Pontiac Aztek, which was produced from 2001 to 2005, are cheering today, after General Motors unveiled an updated version of the abominable crossover at Detroit’s North American Auto Show.

According to Peabo Yax, GM’s Communications Bwana, the Aztek will be branded a GMC.

In response to a reporter’s question about the switch to GMC, Yax replied, “Pontiac is gone.  And, listen, don’t forget that the Viper was first a Dodge, then an SRT, and now a Dodge Viper SRT,” he said defensively with his lower lip quivering.  After regaining his composure, Yax confirmed that the requisite Aztek Denali version has already been green-lighted.

Taking a cue from Tesla’s upcoming Model X, the Aztek will feature what GM calls “Goose-Wing Doors”  for easier back seat access.

Yax chuckled as he revealed that the Aztek actually achieved flight when a test engineer inadvertently hit the wrong switch, opening the winged doors during a top speed run.  “It didn’t gain much altitude, but it flew farther than Wilber and Orville Redenbacher did.”  Wright on.