U.S. Navy Jets Drop Takata Airbags on ISIS

U.S. military jets have targeted ISIS for several years, but recently, Navy F/A-18s have begun dropping a much more lethal type of ordnance: discarded Takata airbags.

“There’s something like 50-million recalled Takata airbags,” said Pentagon spokesman Crispin Rigmarole. “They’re not very precise, but they’re a hell of a lot more destructive than any laser-guided bomb.  Besides, it’s better to drop them on ISIS than having them piling up in some landfill,” he added.

Rather than perform the dangerous and delicate job of dismantling each airbag, the entire steering wheel and airbag assembly are dropped intact.  “The terrorists know, when they see steering wheels falling from the sky they’d better run like hell,” said one pilot.

According to one source, talks are under way that might eventually lead to jet fighters also bombing ISIS fighters with hover boards and Volkswagen diesel engines.