Inventor Shows Off His Innovative Vaseline Engine

Barada Nikto pumps Vaseline into his experimental inline four-cylinder engine

Barada Nikto is a on a mission.  No, not the type that would require that he dress in a suit and tie and ride a 10-speed bicycle around an unfamiliar area of the country with some other guy knocking on neighborhood doors. The idiosyncratic mechanic and self-described automotive tinkerer’s mission is to unveil the world’s first Vaseline-powered engine.

“Vaseline is 100% petroleum jelly,” Nikto explained as his left eye blinked uncontrollably.  “By injecting it into the engine under high pressure, it burns five times cleaner than bacon grease, is knock-resistant, and also prevents chapping of the cylinder walls at the same time.”

Nikto said Vaseline is the most promising of the fuels he’s experimented with, which included garlic infused olive oil, liquified fireplace logs and Robitussin Nighttime Cough DM.  “The exhaust also moisturizes the asphalt on the roadway,” he claimed.