WOMAN SITS ON PHONE BOOKS, SOMEHOW MEMORIZES ALL THE LISTINGS

Honeysuckle Loper, 26, sits on two Corvallis, Oregon phone books

A small-statured South Cheeseborough woman who sits on telephone books while driving her Chevy Tahoe has miraculously memorized all the listings in the two thick directories.  “I’m short and I can see so much better when I sit on them,”explained 26-year-old Honeysuckle Loper. “I’ve only been using them for about a month and I when woke up this morning I could recite the names of addresses of everyone in Corvallis, Oregon.”

Using one of the phone books, which smelled like a revolting combination of Wisk detergent and a Nebraska feedlot, we tested Loper’s newfound abilities.  Given the names of Corvallis residents Liggett and Garnet Skivler, she correctly recited not only their phone number, but also their home address of 4809 Squirting Conch Lane.  “I wish I’d known about this talent back in college,” said Loper.