University of Farmers Ranked Worst Party School in the Nation

There was disappointing news today for the University of Farmers.  Despite efforts to liven up their image with a series of droll television commercials starring that bald guy that everyone has seen before but has no idea who he is, the U of F was ranked the worst party school in the country, according to the website ohgodithinkimgoingtopuke.org.

“It’s disheartening,” said Blanda Shetwynd, U of F’s Director of Outreach.  “We have a lot of fun here.  For example, just last week, a big group of us sat around a bonfire — not a real one, of course, — and sang songs about death benefits and gap insurance. Oh my, what a hoot.”

According to Shetwynd, the university’s bottom-rung status on the annual ranking of party schools has little to do with the fact that all students are insurance agents-in-training.  “It’s really a fun, super-duper group of people,” she assured us before bursting into tears.