Dept. of Energy Denounces VW’s Plan to Store Recalled Cars at Yucca Mountain

U.S. Department of Energy officials are speaking out against Volkswagen’s recently-announced plan to store several hundred thousand recalled diesel vehicles inside Nevada’s idle Yucca Mountain nuclear waste repository.  

“We still hope to store thousands of tons of spent fuel and nuclear waste in there,” grumbled visibly-angry DOE spokesman CeeLo Chalmers.  “And the last thing we want is for a bunch of defective Volkswagens to contaminate our radioactive waste.”  

The automaker, however, is in a tough spot.  Following a legal settlement, so many diesel vehicles have been repurchased from owners that Volkswagen can’t find places to park them all.  

“We’ve run out of parking lots, retired military bases and sports stadiums,” said VW recall manager Tsetse Flynn.  “Now we’re parking them on the street and feeding the meters. I’m so damned tired of going to the bank to get change….” she said, her voice trailing off.