Gig as Lincoln Pitchman Has Drastically Aged Matthew McConaughey

According to U.S. Fish and Wildlife statistics, Lincoln has the oldest buyers of any mainstream auto brand.  That’s why 47-year-old actor Matthew McConaughey — who is roughly one-third the age of the typical Lincoln buyer — was brought on board to star in the automaker’s advertising.

But in a surprising twist, instead of attracting younger buyers, his association with Lincoln has drastically aged McConaughey.

“It’s very frustrating,” said Lincoln spokesperson Goldang Stump. “We really thought Matthew would encourage a younger demographic to check out Lincoln.  Instead, he’s moved into an assisted-living facility.”