Whole Foods Stores to Add Gas Stations

Whole Foods, the company that bills itself as “America’s Healthiest Grocery Store” has announced plans to construct a chain of service stations dispensing certified organic gasolines.

“We want to pair our healthy food with natural, wholesome motor fuels,” said company spokesperson Dandelion Squitt.

Like other fuel retailers, Natural Gas will offer three grades of gasoline, however, the fuel is certified to be free of artificial colors, hydrogenated fats, pesticides and preservatives.

“All our gasolines contain fish oil and atomized walnut dust, and the exhaust gases are a wonderful source of beneficial Omega-3 fatty acids,” said Squitt.

The stations will also offer a small selection of vehicle accessories including algae-based seat covers and gluten-free Armor All.