Buck-Toothed Race Driver Unable to Remove Fireproof Suit

A driver who won a 250-mile stock car race yesterday was unable to remove his jumpsuit following the competition due to his severe buck teeth, said track officials.

Emergency responders attempted to help 28-year old Skeeter Burlinger by pulling upwards on the suit while he “looked straight down with his hands in the air,” said track spokesperson Duckie Supper. “But they still couldn’t get it off — even after it was unzipped.” 

Supper quietly told reporters that Burlinger has severe buck teeth. “It looks like he has a damned bear trap in his mouth,” she said.  

Parksplug asked Burlinger about the predicament but we couldn’t understand his reply.