Updated on May 31, 2017
Eye Position Determines Exhaust Preferences, Says Researcher
A noted research scientist, who estimates he became noted about eight years ago, claims the positioning of a person’s eyes on their face directly correlates with the placement of exhaust pipes on the vehicle they drive.
This BMW 328i owner clearly prefers twinned or “shotgun” dual pipes, said Dr. Yipes
According to Dr. Saturno Yipes, professor of Advanced Physiognomy and Anatomy at the University of Lower Cheesequake, New Jersey, the….um….what was I saying?
Oh yes…Dr. Yipes claims that those with eyes set closer together typically own vehicles that feature paired or “shotgun” dual pipes, while those whose eyes are farther apart favor separated pipes, i.e., one at each rear corner.
Dr. Yipes provided the accompanying photographs to help elucidate his theory, whatever that means.
“This fellow was an interesting study,” said Yipes. “Over the years, his eyes migrated toward the sides of his head. We’ve seen this occur in fish, but never humans. Anyway, he had a strong preference for widely-spaced exhausts, like those shown on the vehicle pictured above him.
“This Lexus IS-F owner loved his car’s diagonally-stacked pipes,” said Yipes. “However, I really felt sorry for him. He never achieved his dream of looking through binoculars.”
