North Korea Threatens to Swamp Guam With Crappy Little Cars

Reacting angrily to a new round of UN Security Council sanctions against it, North Korea today threatened to flood the island of Guam with “cheap unreliable little cars that would break down, catch fire and litter the roadways” of the 201-square mile U.S. territory.  

The combative statement also included a photograph of a small, homely red car, which one expert identified as a Yodok Prawn, built by a struggling North Korean company best known for manufacturing unsinkable submarines.  

U.S. analysts identified the driver behind the wheel of the Prawn as reportedly Kim Jong-pun, a hysterically funny but now-dead cousin of ruler Kim Jong-un.  

Guamanian officials didn’t seem particularly concerned about the threat but said they’re “keeping an eye out” around the island’s port.  “We’re always out there looking for brown snakes anyway,” said one port official.