DEALERSHIPS SAY SHORTAGE OF GIANT BOWS WILL HURT VALENTINE’S AUTO SALES

“This is my last giant bow,” lamented Mercedes dealer Jeasle Pinderhoof. “And it’s the wrong color for Valentine’s Day.”

A shortage of giant, colorful bows has car dealers scrambling to find replacements just days before the big Valentine’s Day Sales Event.

“This shortage couldn’t have come at a worse time,” said crestfallen Mercedes-Benz dealer Jeasle Pinderhoof as he shook his head and brushed his tongue against his yellowish upper molar, a tooth that dentists would refer to as  number 14.  “I have one big bow left, and it’s a blue one.  I’m completely out of red ones, and red, of course, is the official color of Valentine’s Day.  You don’t give your sweetheart blue roses, do you?” he said with tears welling in his eyes.

“We’ve got a huge inventory of vehicles and the financing is the best it’s ever been, including rates as low as 2.5% for up to 72 months,” said Pinderhoof, who added, “Of course that’s on approval of credit, and rates, terms and conditions are subject to change without notice.  We just don’t have any damn giant bows!”

Sucaryl Sobplott, a spokeswoman for the League of Giant Bow Manufacturers (LGBM), said a strike by union bow loaders is holding up shipment to auto dealers.  “The bows are just sitting in shipping containers.  It’s a sad situation.”