Subaru Management Despondent After Dogs Reveal They Don’t Really Like Their Cars

Dogs have played a prominent role in Subaru’s advertising for years, but now it appears the canines are out.  

Yesterday, members of the largest canine actors’ union notified Subaru they would no longer accept parts in the carmaker’s commercials.  

“We were stunned when we heard the news,” said downtrodden Subaru spokesman Mert Sudge.  “We had a very good relationship with the dogs, plus the commercials worked really well for us.”

“To be truthful, none of us really like Subarus,” said Cooper, a tan Border Pug who wanted to be identified only by his first name, which is all he has anyway.  “The rear windows don’t roll down all the way…how the hell am I supposed to stick my head out?” 

Sudge said Subaru hasn’t made a decision on the direction of future commercials.  “Somebody suggested trying cats, but I don’t think they’ll give up their Roombas,” he said, shaking his head.