Chevy Cruze Claims Detailer Groped It During Wax Job

Rubbing and buffing is one thing, but inappropriate touching “under the rear bumper” is quite another.  So says Osprey Maloney, an attorney representing a 2014 Chevrolet Cruze identified only as 5288, the last four digits of its VIN.  

According to Maloney, 5288’s owner, Sudafed “Sue” Ortega, took the car to Calvin’s Detailing Service in downtown Killiecrankie last week for a simple wash and wax.  

“However, what this poor vehicle was subjected to by a fiend with a clay bar is sickening,” Maloney told reporters, adding that the car is so humiliated it now refuses to leave the garage.  

Maloney said she has filed a lawsuit against Calvin’s Detailing and has already spoken with several other vehicle owners reporting similar incidents.  “One owner claims his Miata was inappropriately stroked with an orbital polisher at the same shop.”