Responding to Customer Complaints, Jaguar Vows to Boost the Number of Electrical Glitches in its Vehicles

At a press conference yesterday, Jaguar officials offered an apology to owners of its vehicles and assured them that it’s working hard to increase the number of electrical glitches in its cars and SUVs.

That pledge came after the automaker heard from owners that Jaguars have become so reliable they’re boring, and have lost the marques’  “old world charm”.

“We’re bloody sorry and will get the problem sorted, I promise you that,” pledged company spokesperson Pippa “Peanut” Talbo.

“No smoke, no fires, no smoldering smell; what the hell is up with that?!” groused Graham Watkins Teaberry, the owner of a 2019 Jaguar XJ.  “It’s like driving a f**king Avalon!  Even a new BMW smells like burning motor oil now and then,” he added.

Teaberry shared a treasured photograph of his old 1986 Jaguar XJS-C perched on the back of a flatbed tow truck.  “Electrical shorts, flickering lights, faulty gauges, smoke coming out the vents…now that was a hell of a car,” he said with tears in his eyes.