Cubby Milligan in Big Trouble Following Odyssey Vacuum Mishap

CONDOM FOUND JAMMED IN VACUUM CLEANER IN MOM’S HONDA ODYSSEY

Cubby Milligan has been grounded for the foreseeable future after a condom was found jammed inside the vacuum hose of his family’s Honda Odyssey.  Cubby,16, had reportedly used the minivan to take his girlfriend, Juniper, to the drive-in theater to see The Pygmy Chronicles two nights earlier.

“He’s not allowed to use my van or take off his pants ever again,” said his seething mother, Sugar Rae Milligan.  The discovery was made by a technician at the local Honda dealership where Sugar Rae had taken the Odyssey due to a severe case of suction reduction.

The family cat, Tinkles, is also grounded after six pounds of cat hair was found matted inside the vacuum’s filter.