LAID-OFF HYPHEN INSTALLER BEMOANS F-150’S UPDATED LOGO

For most automotive assembly plant employees, the introduction of an entirely redesigned model is cause for celebration, as it translates into years of continued employment.

Hyphenated no more:  2015 F150

But sadly, that’s not how it worked out for master hyphen installer Keanu Fjelstad when Ford released its new hyphen-less aluminum-bodied
F-150, or more correctly, F150, last year.

“I’ve been gluing or painting hyphens between the F and the 150 for more than 20 years,” said a dejected Fjelstad, who, since being laid off last fall, gets by on meager monthly unemployment checks and surprise grab bags provided by his neighbors.

“I installed that hyphen,” Keanu Fjelstad said proudly when shown this photograph

Fjelstad, who, for some reason, became irate when asked if the “j” in his last name is silent, said affixing automotive hyphens is a lost art.

“You have to make sure it’s level and spaced correctly,” he admonished. “But some hyphenists are slackers; they just slap them on there any ol’ which way.”

Asked what he’ll do next, Fjelstad said he’s been offered a hyphenating job at Q-Tip. “Hyphenating cotton swabs is better than nothing,” he grumbled, “but I’ll sure miss working on trucks.