God: “I Warned Them Not to Park There.”

A car that was parked repeatedly in a church loading zone was reduced to scorched metal and ashes Sunday afternoon after God said he’d “had enough.”

“Well, God told me that He had left numerous notes on the car’s windshield but the owner ignored them,” said Yahtzee Olfert, pastor of the First Church of the Muddled Flock in Spongy Butte.

Peaches Lum, the church organist and assistant pew buffer, said the car owner got exactly what he deserved.  “I don’t blame God one bit.  Everybody knows that space is to be used strictly for unloading hymnals, cupcakes and punch.”