This is the Guy Who Blasts the Thumping Bass Next To You at the Stoplight

You’re in your ’07 Montego stopped at a red light when everything around you suddenly begins to vibrate and thump.  The bracket containing the used Whistler radar detector you bought for fifty-bucks from some guy named Glen off Craigslist falls off the dashboard and whacks your right shin.  Your Montego’s aluminum trim is buzzing like a neon sign and your hair begins falling out in clumps.

We’ve all experienced this scenario, in which some half-smart cretin subjects his fellow motorists to the bass thumpings of Lil Wayne through twin 18-inch subwoofers mounted in a homemade OSB box strapped to the backseat of his primer-colored (with pink wheels) Subaru Justy hatchback.

Just who is this thimble head, you ask?

As a public service, Parksplug is now identifying the offender.

He’s 21-year-old Connor Van Zandt, who, when he’s not driving around town in his Justy, works part-time frying fish at Long John Silver’s (you might not recognize him without his paper hat).

We spoke with Connor and he has promised to turn down his stereo.