Parksplug’s Top 10 Automotive Stories of 2015 — Number 4

HEALTH EXPERTS: IF YOU’RE GOING TO ROFL, DON’T DO IT IN THE GARAGE

Don’t ROFL in the garage, warns CDC

If you ROFL in your garage, you’re much more likely to come into contact with gasoline, oil and other harmful chemicals that can be absorbed through the skin. That’s according to researchers at the Centers for Disease Control, wherever those are.

At a news conference today, Dr. Sanka Belcher told reporters, “Please save your questions until after the presentation.”

Then she went on to say, “Only a small percentage of those who claim to be ROFLing actually are, but those who do so in the garage expose themselves to dirt, grime and even grit. It’s even more harmful than ROFLMFAOing, although the physical changes aren’t as immediately apparent.”

Belcher recommended that people try to LOL instead of ROFLing, but said those who can’t refrain from ROFLing should shower frequently using plenty of Goop Hand Cleaner.