War of Words Ensues After E. Coli’s Cantina Opens Out Near the Interstate

Chipotle Grill Spokesperson Complains, “Their Stealing Our Business Model!”

Thanks to the recent opening of a new E. Coli’s Cantina location, motorists passing through town on the interstate now have another dining option in addition to Subway, Subway, Gerd’s Fermented Pickle Cafe and Subway.

But not everyone is happy to see the new restaurant open its doors.  Chipotle Grill, whose nearby location is expected to reopen next month after being  sandblasted and resprayed with Pine Sol for the fourth time in six months, accused E. Coli’s of misappropriating their business model.

“I don’t care what their cute, trendy little name is, we’re the stomach cramp and diarrhea experts, not them,” said visibly agitated Chipotle spokesperson Harnessa Yeltsin.

“Just wait until we reopen again,” Yeltsin shouted before having to rush back into the restroom.