An Interview With Cadillac Spokesperson Ciabatta Ma

The new Cadillac ATS and CTS have been the subjects of rave reviews, so we thought it was time to sit down with company spokesperson Ciabatta Ma to see what else was coming down the pike.  Or pipe.  Whatever.

PP:  Want some coffee?

CM:  Sure.  Got any Bailey’s? 

PP:  It’s only 9:00am.

CM:  Not in New York.  That’s where our headquarters is now.  Right across the street from Just Salad.  But they also sell soup; isn’t that weird? 

PP:  Boy, it sure is.  Anyway, you must be proud of the success of the ATS.

CM:  You mean the CT4.

PP: I do?

CM:  Yes, as soon as JdN1 came in he started changing the names.

PP:  What’s a JdN1?

CM:  Our new boss.  He used to be known as Johan de Nysschen, but we’re going all alphanumeric. As soon as the paperwork goes though I’ll be CMM6.
  
PP:  That’s much less confusing.

CMM6:  We think so.  

PP:  Anyway, back to the CT4.  I had a chance to drive a CTS with the twin-turbo 3.6, and—

CMM6:  You mean the CT5.

PP:  Um, yes.  The CT5.  Anyway, that turbo 3.6 is really—

CMM6:  The LF3.

PP:  I thought it was the CT5.

CMM6:  Yes, the LF3 is the engine in the CT5 V-Sport, which used to be the CTS V-Sport.  

PP:  (to office assistant: “I’d like a Bailey’s, too, please”).  Anyway, the LF3 must make the ATS — I mean the CT4–quite a performer.

CMM6:  It would if the LF3 was in the CT4, but it’s only in the CT5, or CTS.  The ATS or CT4 is equipped with the LF4.

PP:  Look at that…our time is up.  Thanks for coming.

CMM6:  I’ll tell JdN1 you said hello.

PP:  Oh great, thanks.  (to office assistant: “Get me my Bailey’s now!”)