MAJOR VEHICLE SMUGGLING TUNNEL DISCOVERED ON US-MEXICO BORDER

AUTHORITIES SAY AS MANY AS FOUR NISSAN NV200’S MAY HAVE GOTTEN THROUGH

A 1,814-mile brick lined tunnel that authorities said “reflects the restless energy and extraordinary grandeur of the bygone eras of smuggling,” was discovered yesterday after the night manager of a San Diego motel complained of a well-type structure blocking her driveway.

A Nissan SWAT officer helps some other guys search the tunnel

“It probably wasn’t the best place to put the tunnel exit,” said Homeland Security spokesman Corky Lee Blankenbaker, who acknowledged that if someone entered the tunnel on the San Diego side, the exit would then become an entrance.

After Blankenbaker sneezed twice, he advised that authorities–who were assisted by Nissan SWAT team members–believe at least four Nissan NV200 compact vans successfully made it through the tunnel that stretches from Nissan’s Cuernavaca, Mexico manufacturing plant to the street in front of the Golden West Motor Lodge somewhere in San Diego (see unattached map).

“They put a lot of work into this,” said Blankenbaker, who we believe was talking about the tunnel builders but didn’t want to ask because of his tendency to snap at reporters.

The tunnel exit/entrance blocks the driveway of this motel

Heaven Gosdin, the manager of the Golden West Motor Lodge complained to authorities that her business has dropped significantly since the stacked-stone tunnel exit appeared in the street, and begged them to remove it as soon as possible.

“I can’t even get my little Mazda pickup out of the lot,” she cried.

Authorities gave her an NV200 to drive in the meantime.