Updated on November 5, 2015
EXCLUSIVE HIGHLIGHTS OF THE L.A. AUTO SHOW!
VEHICLE TRANSPORTER TRUCKS STUCK IN TRAFFIC; ANXIOUS ORGANIZERS HOPE SHOW CARS ARRIVE BEFORE SUNDAY’S CLOSING |
| A misspelled banner welcomes visitors to the LA Auto Show. Vehicle transporter trucks are still stuck in LA traffic, and as of today, nearly all exposition halls were still empty. And no, we don’t know what an “UDI” is.
The Los Angeles Auto Show, often referred to as “The Los Angeles Auto Show,” opened to the public last Friday. Unfortunately, few vehicles were on display as transporter trucks have been stuck for days in LA’s notoriously bad traffic. “We close the Sunday after Thanksgiving,” said glum auto show spokesman Inkie Mooser. “Hopefully the cars will get here by then.”
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| Cars of Washed-Up Stars is among the most popular attractions
In the meantime, promoters were steering disappointed crowds to arguably dubious displays, such as “Cars of Washed-Up Stars,” which features a 2006 Chevrolet HHR belonging to actress Sean Young, Jean-Claude Van Damme’s 1998 Lincoln and a dented Dodge minivan owned by actress Meg Ryan.
Popular among showgoers was the La Brea Tar Pits facial booth, where faces of howling patrons were coated with searing liquid asphalt extracted from the ancient pits (cucumber paste is added before application). After cooling, the tar is pried off, taking with it unwanted freckles, frackles, macules, papules, pores and corns. In addition to the facial booth, weary attendees can have their head bumps massaged and treat themselves to a half-hour of low-carb, gluten-free oxygen therapy.
Later today, Ford will unveil two new vehicles including the renamed ConFusion mid-size sedan (formerly Fusion) that features a new, much more complicated version of their MyFord Touch infotainment system that adds “dozens of new unlabeled buttons, switches and knobs,” according to Ford. The second vehicle is the Ford Transient Connect, a van designed to provide transportation to homeless persons.
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