NISSAN, MAZDA TRY TO DUMP “CHICK CAR” IMAGE

“I’ve been told my Miata looks like Heather Locklear,” said proud owner Mindee Skifford

 “This is the kind of thing that keeps us up at night,” said somber Mazda spokesman Arche Harpalyke, after being shown the photograph of Mindee Skifford’s adorned Miata at left, which may have ended up on the right.  After years of being considered a “chick car,” by many would-be male buyers, the Miata is undergoing big changes as Mazda tries to “macho it up a bit.”

The result, shown below in an exclusive Parksplug photo, is the new Miato.  “The new name sounds tough, like it might be a Charles Bronson character, doesn’t it?” asked Harpalyke.

Mazda grafted the CX-5 crossover’s front clip onto the roadster and added a unique honeycomb grill.  “That’s a real honeycomb,” boasted Harpalyke.  “There are even some bees in there.”

The new Mazda Miato features a manly genuine honeycomb grill

Mazda isn’t the only company trying to dodge the “chick car” appellation.  A few years ago, Volkswagen lowered the Beetle and gave it a more square shape.  But perhaps the biggest change is to Nissan’s Leaf.  The company has been showing off a new model called the Leaf Beef, with a sporty new grill–superfluous  for an electric vehicle–as well as new headlights, hood scoop, and truck mirrors and marker lights.

Nissan Leaf Beef

While it remains to be seen whether the changes are enough to alter male perceptions, animal rights groups are already giving the Beef and Miato (yes, that does sound like a soup flavor) with its real honeycomb grill an ardent thumbs-down.

“The name “Beef,” especially for an electric car, is outrageous,” complained animal rights activist Feather Plack.  “Red meat is more toxic than an old FEMA trailer,” she said, adding, “and stealing bees’ honeycombs for use as a stupid car grill is just wrong.”  I’ve already activated the phone tree to get everyone together for a protest.”