Updated on November 5, 2015
SPIED! 2016 CADILLAC CIMARRON!
CHEVY CRUZE-BASED SMALL LUXURY SEDAN
REPORTEDLY A YEAR AWAY
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| Next-generation Cimarron by Cadillac caught on camera during testing. This car is equipped with the Brougham (pronounced “Brome”) package (“pak’-edge”), which includes an elegant vinyl roof cover in cotton ball white |
More than eighteen people are rejoicing today after Cadillac announced at a press conference today that the Cimarron by Cadillac will rejoin the automaker’s lineup. Rumors had been circulating wildly among the unstable, as well as fans of vinyl tops and jigsaw puzzles that the sporty luxury sedan, which first appeared during the 1982 model year, would soon make a return appearance.
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| Spy photographer Bunny Prickles |
Cadillac, which insists upon calling the car by the overblown label Cimarron by Cadillac, had little choice but to confirm the rumors after veteran spy photographer Bunny Prickles, who is presumably either a man or woman, snapped a picture of the “CbyC” undergoing testing.
“It will be a distinctly chic (“sheek”), sporty and economical addition to our lineup,” said Cadillac spokesperson Mynot Nord. “And, yes, there will be a Brougham package with a vinyl roof!” he shouted with such passion that his ears glowed red and he complained of feeling momentarily faint.
When asked, Nord declined to disclose the base price of the car or what engine(s) will lie under the hood, and instead indignantly retorted, “Why don’t you go ask Bunny Prickles?!” before he fainted.
