Posted on March 29, 2016
Cops Crack Down on Highway Parasailing
Police officer Dougie Kefauver writes a citation as parasailer Loonis Twohey, dangling from a parachute, drifts to the ground
Local police announced today that they’ve begun a crackdown on the increasingly popular but illegal sport of highway parasailing.
“It’s dangerous,” said police spokesperson Spumone Figone. “Just last week, a parasailor’s rope got snagged on a passing Kenworth and they found him nine hours later face-down in a bean field in Utah. Fortunately, he’s okay — just windblown.”
Figone said another parasailor suffered minor injuries after flying into the side of a Highway 82 overpass.
“You can still see the imprint of his face and body on the overpass,” she said. “It’s a shame,” whispered Figone. “He can’t breathe through his nose anymore.”
The imprint of a highway parasailor is visible on this overpass support beam
