Goatee a No-Go for the 2022 Chevy Express

Chevrolet has killed an ill-conceived plan to add a goatee to the front of its aging Chevrolet Express van, the current generation of which debuted all the way back in 2003. 

Sources say the automaker hoped the grill-surrounding goatee would conceal the van’s age and make it appear newer and trendier.  

“It looked stupid,” said automotive reporter Dodo Pink.  “Goatees might make a guy look younger, but it just doesn’t work on an old van.  GM needs to quit trying to save money and go ahead and update  it.”