Tire Store Used Coin With Squashed George Washington Head for Tire Tread Test, Says D.A.

It’s a simple test to determine if you need new tires: simply insert a quarter upside down into the groove.  The tread should cover at least part of George Washington’s head.  If not, you need new tires. But the district attorney contends a local tire store used a counterfeit quarter in a ploy to increase sales.

According to DA Guster Horch, dozens of customers of Sipes’ World of Tires paid hundreds of dollars to replace tires that didn’t need replacement.  “With that squashed head, there’s no way any tire could pass the quarter test,” Horch told Parksplug.

Holding up the fake coin, Horch commented, “It’s just wrong. Look what they did to President Washington’s head. Poor guy; he looks like a Neanderthal. We’re talking about our first president; it’s very disrespectful.”

According to Horch, Packy Sipes, the owner of the tire store, is no stranger to authorities.  Two years ago, he was convicted of misdemeanor moral turpitude after police found photographs of dozens of customers’ lugnuts on his laptop computer.