Posted on April 22, 2016
California Mandates Sealed Gas Cans With No Filler, Spout or Vent
Claiming that gas cans are a significant source of volatile organic compounds or VOC’s — formerly known as reactive organic gases or ROG’s — the California Air Resources Board — also known as CARB — has passed a new regulation (called “REGs” by all CARB staffers (except, of course, that weird guy Darrel who sits at his desk and eats Corn Nuts all day) requiring all new portable fuel containers to be completely sealed with no openings whatsoever.
Axel Kruskamp is among thousands of California residents who can’t figure out how to use their new sealed gas cans
According to CARB, a new study shows that, despite what most people believe, it is not possible to slap someone silly. But a more applicable study claims that each year, Californians’ gas cans produce the same amount of greenhouse gases as a thousand head of cattle fed nothing but Hormel chili.
“These new sealed fuel containers will benefit the environment, ” said CARB spokesperson Funyun Delahee, “and will also save consumers money when they try to fill it at the pump.”
