Oil Viscosity Numbers to be Simplified

Who among us hasn’t at one time or another been flummoxed by the viscosity numbers on a bottle of motor oil?

For example, what’s the difference between 5W-30 and 10W-30?  And what does the “W” stand for?

Fortunately, a new, less confusing labeling system devised by the Society of Automotive Eccentrics (SAE) is in the works. We spoke with SAE Lubricants Specialist Victor Richter at Parksplug’s office about the upcoming change.

PP:  Welcome Victor. Thanks for coming.

VR:  Do you have a bathroom I can use?

PP: No, but the raised planter beds are right outside.

(Richter is gone for 15 minutes and then returns)

PP:  You were gone a long time.

VR: You know, those raised planter beds are really uncomfortable to sit on.  What are they, redwood?

PP:  Um, cedar, I think.  First question:  Is motor oil with a lower viscosity number thinner or thicker than oil with a higher number?

VR: Oh jeez. I should know that.  Thicker, I think.

PP:  Tell us about the new viscosity designations.

VR:  Well, no one understands 10W-30.  So we want to simplify it to Thicker W Thick.

PP:  Wasn’t he the President once?

VR:  Who?

PP:  Never mind.  What’s the “W” stand for?

VR: Oh man. I think it was “Walker”, wasn’t it?

PP:  What?

VR: I have to go to the bathroom again.

PP:  Use the bed with the radishes in it.